First Show of the Season--A Mixed Bag

I would be dishonest if I didn't admit that our first show was a little disappointing, though I set myself up for disappointment by having such high hopes.

Quila was excited. I knew she would be because we hadn't shown in so long--and I can't fault her for that. She didn't do anything stupid, though, and she tried. She really did. A great deal of the problem was mine. I am riding right now with a strained right hamstring. It isn't torn, but it is weak, and I don't have the stamina in it that I should. I can ride up to a certain point, and I'll have pain, but not so bad that I can't get the job done. The problem is that after a point, the muscle plain old gives out, and I can't be effective any longer--and when I get off the horse, it is spasming, and I walk with a limp until I can stretch it out and relax it.

We had a great warm-up. A really great one. If we'd have been judged on the warm-up, our score would have been a good 6 or 7% higher--but the damn judge had to wait until we went inside the ring. Don't you just hate it when you leave your ride in the warm-up? Ordinarily, Jürgen is the master of timing warm-ups, and he would have been this time, too, if I hadn't been too proud to let him in on what was going on with my hamstring... but I didn't want to be labelled a complainer, or someone that just liked to give excuses for poor performance. I hate that in other people, and refused to let it happen with me. So I ride through the pain, and just keep working. He had no idea I've had a problem, because at home, I've been able to stretch, and use ice/heat, and it hasn't really affected me so much. At the show, the ice/heat just hadn't been available--nor the trusty tennis ball to really get in there at the attachment point.

Our trot work was great. I was thrilled with it. Quila was excited, but she listened, came back after the lengthenings, and it was exactly MY pace but still active behind, and I kept perfect control of her shoulders and haunches in the voltés. We also had GREAT leg yields both sides. Should have been straight 7's (emphasis on should--this judge seemed to have been throwing out random scores, since the sucky part of my ride scored higher than the good part!) I went off course during the walk but the judge didn't notice. Then came canter. Quila LOVES canter, and she was, shall we say, joyous. Too joyous. I couldn't keep her collected enough, and all the work resembled a medium, except for the extensions, which resembled out-of-hand gallops--and the one counter-canter squiggle where I begged her to come back just a little and she broke to the trot. (We got a 7 for that--"some loss of rhythm but well-formed" was the comment). The canter work was a disaster, and it's usually the strongest part of our test. I had no right leg... it felt like it was flapping the breeze. As I told Bill, it had the same sensation as when I'd skiied far too many moguls, and I barely had the leg strength to stand, let alone walk. Talk about frustration. I KNEW what I needed to do. I have the skills now to do it, but I couldn't because my body wasn't able to perform.

Yesterday, we rode again. Quila was her normal self, and Jürgen had me ride a much shorter warm-up--perhaps only 1/3 as much. Quila seemed to know that I couldn't ride as well and needed her help, too, because she was MUCH softer in the bridle and to the aids. It didn't take much warm-up to get her through and listening, and she needed far less leg to bend and stay round. Our test went really well, I thought. The judge was fair, given her own personal peeves--she killed us for our lengthenings. The trot lengthening that Quila didn't run, we got a 4 on because there was little difference (but I felt her lift and TRY to push--you just can't see much). The lengthening that Quila really moved out on, she fell on her forehand and we got a 4 there, too. She only has the two versions: forehand/moving out or lifting/little difference. They are NOT her forté. We didn't do much canter lengthening, because I didn't have the leg to either ask or control it. And we lost points in canter because I asked for too much collection without using enough leg to maintain the jump. BUT, she was on my aids, and the points we lost (besides the lengthenings) were my points to lose. She was a VERY GOOD girl, and I'll gladly take the heat for it. It was a controlled test, and I was the boss.

I'm adjusting my attitude. Quila is an older horse and she doesn't have the greatest gaits. What's important for both of us is not the ultimate score, but how much I can learn. If I can control the ride, and learn to ride the movements, then I have accomplished my goal. I think what's been hard for me is that I go to shows with Susan and Jennifer all the time, and I get used to the fact that a "good" score is one in the mid-60's. And that's true, if you're on a horse that can perform. But we don't all have horses with that degree of talent, and to expect Quila to score mid-60's every time isn't fair to either one of us. I'm not a failure if I put in a 60% performance. Not at these levels on a limited horse. What matters is that I put in a respectable test, and that I don't look like I didn't know what the hell I was doing--that I eliminate the mental and riding errors. I'm not there to win everything with Quila (though winning is nice)--I'm there to learn everything with her so that when I start riding Promise, I'm ready. I need to keep reminding myself of that. Over and over and over again.