I was touched by the thoughtfulness of my daughter, Jürgen and several of my boarders today. As far as I know, they don't read my blog, (I don't think anybody really reads it, given how few visitors I get--and I've never had anyone leave a comment) and I hadn't said anything to them about how I've been feeling, but I guess they noticed.
They've been asking regularly, "How are you doing? Are you okay?" My answer has been, "Yeah, sure." Because I am okay. I'm healthy. I'm fitter than I've ever been. I actually like my personal trainer nearly all the time (although there were a few minutes last night when I told him that I took back all the nice things I'd said--he made me do two quadriceps exercises back-to-back, three sets each to exhaustion, so it was really 6 quadriceps exercises to exhaustion, with only a 10 second break between them. My quads won't speak to him at least until Monday, and they probably won't speak to me again until then, either.)
Anyway, I can't complain about too much, except that I miss Promise. I miss having her to look forward to, and there just isn't much joy in riding anymore as a result. I love Quila. She's a great mare, but age has caught up with her, and I've faced the fact that First Level is her limit. She is a First Level horse, and the perfect volté (which we can now do) is about the best she can manage at trot. At canter, we've got counter canter and simple changes, but that won't buy us a ticket to Second Level. Not without shoulder-in. So... it's been tough dragging myself to the barn. Tough getting enthused about running the place.
What have they done, these beloved people? First, they talked to dear, less-than-enthusiastic-about-this-whole-horse-ownership-business-hubby (hubby, who has put me on restriction for horse purchases and trips to Europe), and laid out a plan for selling horses I own, setting out to buy a horse that I can ride and compete this coming year, and allowing me to retire Quila as I'd originally planned. And they've set the wheels in motion for doing so and begun to search. I'm grateful, because I haven't the heart or energy to look myself (nor did I have the nerve to ask hubby, who has been more than gracious over the years with my horse addiction) about another horse. Not with a kid in college.
And, they also came up with a business plan for the ranch, aimed at filling it with boarders and starting new programs that will be fun for everyone, programs they want to help run. They're infusing the place, and me, with a new energy.
Even though I'm crying as I type this, I don't feel quite so lost and hopeless. They gave me just what I needed.
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